The Engagement Trap

It’s easy to believe that taking the next step—getting engaged—might smooth over the issues you’re facing. But proposing isn’t a solution; it’s a magnifier. Whatever problems exist now will follow you into that next phase, often becoming more complex and harder to ignore.

Why Milestones Can’t Replace Real Work

Engagement doesn’t wipe the slate clean. If there are unresolved issues—poor communication, lack of trust, differing visions—those won’t disappear with a ring. Instead, the expectations and stress of planning a future together can expose and widen those cracks.

Commitment Without Clarity Creates Pressure

Relying on the proposal to inspire change is a gamble. Growth and resolution don’t come from external actions; they come from internal work. A lasting relationship is built through uncomfortable conversations, shared goals, and genuine understanding—before you ever kneel down.

Healthy Proposals Reflect Strong Relationships

A proposal should reflect a relationship that’s already stable. It’s not a shortcut. If your foundation is shaky, focus on strengthening it first. When you’re both grounded in trust and clear communication, a proposal becomes a meaningful step forward—not a distraction from deeper issues.

Build Before You Commit

If you’re unsure about the health of your relationship, take time to evaluate and improve it. Work through your differences before raising the stakes. Doing so creates the kind of partnership where a proposal truly marks the beginning of a lifetime built to last.